“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” ― Kahlil Gibran
Deciding to see a therapist is a daunting task for anyone. It has been my personal journey and professional experience that it is even a tougher decision as a male to seek help. Since we were children, most of us have been told to, “Stop crying!” “Man Up!” “Don’t be a P*!” and many more from the those all around us. So, we learn to “suck it up.” Then comes the day we are told, or even demanded of, to be sensitive while still being a man. I simply call it for what it is: “be sensitive, but not so sensitive you screw up being masculine.” That shouldn’t be difficult?! Right?! <insert laughter>
Many of us never knew our fathers’ strengths, passions, and weak points. Many of us grew into manhood with a surface picture of what it means to be masculine. This has left us with a distorted picture of masculinity and not with an inner knowing. We face certain struggles that simply cannot be understood by a woman or female therapist in my opinion. A male acting like a man is nothing more and nothing less than having the courage to be true to himself. Unfortunately, we are told, even by “professionals,” how to be vulnerable, sensitive, or emotionally aware in behaviors and actions that are characteristic of a female version of ourselves. What man wouldn’t tune out under these conditions?! His instincts are screaming at him that these female characteristics are not the correct fit.
Being a masculine male is more than an act. It’s a rewiring of our thoughts and actions. It’s a new way of thinking, refining our behaviors, and perceiving the world around us. Being a man IS A LOT OF WORK and it can be intimidating, but can be done if one is willing to walk into my therapy office and seek professional stewardship and support.
The power in being a man is one of honorable power, of humble responsibility, and one that shows the way to true happiness and achievement for oneself.
There is no greater fulfillment as a male psychotherapist than to guide my fellow man to identifying the healthy man within himself...